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Archive for the ‘Success’ Category

I wish you could know my father. If I had ten dollars for every time someone has told me how wonderful he is, my IRA would be overflowing and I’d have to force myself to retire. He is that special.

My dad came to this country during the Holocaust, the son of a once-wealthy businessman and a very forceful wife who lost everything to the Nazis. They came here with no command of the language, and with my aunt, all four lived in a one-room apartment behind the candy store they ran. This is, perhaps, standard fare for immigrant stories, but since it is my family’s history, it touches me especially deep. Because of that history, my father has demonstrated a determination and compassion that I have never seen in anyone else. He turned those childhood obstacles into a personal mission of success.

chase the download free Dad went into the military, which put him through pharmacy school. After working as a pharmacist for a number of years, he met and married my mother – who was a teacher and a tremendous businesswoman. Together, they built Germer Drug Store in Michigan, which Dad operated until I was 14 years old.

 The store was in a very nice neighborhood that, overnight, became a crime-ridden and dangerous area. He insisted on staying there to service the community, despite repeated hold-ups. I always knew something would happen to him in that store, and when he would call I would often ask, “Is everything okay?” He’d always reassure me. But, one day he called and I asked that question and he just said, “Let me talk to your mother, okay?” I handed her the phone and heard her say, “You’ve been shot?”

It wasn’t a serious injury, but it really shook us up. They’d talked for years about moving to Florida and a year or so later, they made the decision to move. But, Michigan’s economy being what it always seems to be, the store sold and our house didn’t. Dad took a job with a mall drug store while we waited for our house to sell, and I finally felt he was safe. He wasn’t. Two men came into that store with sawed off shotguns and there was a whole chaotic mess that culminated in a front page story and more worries about his safety.

We moved to Florida when I was 15 and never looked back. He would have been 49 at the time. I am so glad we moved back then because a) Florida is great place to live and b) My amazing mother got to enjoy Florida for 16 years before suffering the terrible stroke that paralyzed her at age 66.

Mom’s caregiving needs were substantial, and Dad was the most devoted nurse she could have asked for. He was always there, at the ready, to help her with anything she wanted. He lovingly bathed her and held her and kept her healthy so that she could live in her own home, in comfort and peace.

In 2001, she started showing signs of dementia, which was later diagnosed as Alzheimer’s Disease. Dad insisted on continuing to care for her and it literally destroyed his back to the point where he has had two major back surgeries and countless steroid shots. Nearly four years ago, we had to face the reality that the time had come for her to go to a nursing home.

It was a hard, painful decision. Dad didn’t want to do it, but she needed more care than any one person could safely give – particularly since she was so severely paralyzed. Once she checked into Freedom Village, she felt safe. Dad felt lost.

I don’t know how he will react to my saying that because he has always taken such pride in maintaining composure, but he did change the day Mom left our family home. Dad visits her four times every day. Those are his happiest hours, even when she is completely unresponsive. She is his wife, the love of his life, and theirs is the most enduring relationship I have ever seen.

Throughout all of this, Dad has denied himself so much because he didn’t want to be frolicking while my mom was in a nursing home. If I tried to take him out in my kayak or fishing or anywhere fun, he’d always decline because he believed it would be wrong to do that because of Mom. That is a degree of sacrifice he shouldn’t have made. She wouldn’t have wanted it, but it was his choice.

I noticed his sport jacket the other day and it was tattered and way too worn out for him to be wearing. I told him I was going to take him shopping, and he refused. I mean, refused. Wouldn’t hear of it. But, I am as stubborn as he is and, eventually, I got him to go to Macy’s. I got him a couple of jackets, a few pairs of pants, shirts, etc. He’d emerge from the dressing room with an outfit on and I saw a new life in him. He was proud and vibrant and strong again.

Speechless.

The most selfless man I have ever known was finally enjoying something for himself, and it felt great.

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“You can do better than this.”

I can still hear my mother’s voice.

I was in the tenth grade and I had brought home a report card that boasted a few As, a couple of Bs, a C and the only  D I’d ever gotten – in geometry. I didn’t see anything wrong with that report card because it wasn’t much different from what my friends brought home, except for that little episode with geometry, for which I still don’t apologize.

But, Mom did see something wrong with that report card.

“You are not average,” she said, “So you can’t bring home a report card like this. If you were average, it would be all right. If I knew this was the best you could do, it would be all right. But, it isn’t the best you can do and you know it.”

I hadn’t really thought about it before, whether I was smart or talented or anything else. I was just a kid who wanted desperately to fit in despite being hindered by a major case of nerdiness. I wanted to be average because then I would blend in with the others. Teenage life would be so much easier blending in with the crowd. No one would expect me to do anything more than the minimum. Hanging there with mediocrity seemed like a pretty safe way to get through high school.

If you think about it, I was right. And it applies to our work situations today. Mediocrity is a very safe place to hang. You don’t have to deal with the risk of being extreme – either too excellent or too poor. You aren’t a problem child that needs to be put on probation or dealt with. You aren’t a model of excellence who is a target for people who are jealous or threatened. You’re just in the crowd.

My mother’s tone of voice made it very clear that I would be making a few changes with regard to my academic approach.

It’s amazing how quickly I turned things around after that lecture. All As, and a B in geometry. I just had to make the decision.

I’ve had to make that decision again and again throughout my career. It is a conscious decision to ratchet things up another notch, to produce more, to concentrate harder, to work longer, to deliver. It is a decision to leave the pack and be excellent.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books, including an Oprah pick. She speaks to corporations and organizations on courageous and creative leadership strategies taken from her interviews with the best-known leaders of our times.

What could all of us do if we could just rewrite the negative stories we tell ourselves? If you tell yourself that “It’s too late,” because you are “too old,” then stop being negative. If you say you “aren’t as smart as” your boss, your boss’ boss or the head honcho at the top of the company, you are likely making a very false assumption. Sometimes there are brilliant people in charge. Sometimes, there are not. Just don’t dismiss your own brilliance until you see how far it will carry you.

There will always be someone smarter than you are. And someone who isn’t as smart. There will always be someone with more savvy – and less. Someone with better intellectual instincts – and worse. Someone who is more creative – and less.

Do you have to wait until you are the best in every category before you can see yourself as capable of achieving at a high level? No! You will never win all the marbles. You don’t have to. You just need to focus your vision, make up your mind and go out and do the work. Remind yourself again and again that the people who succeed are not the best or the brightest. They are the boldest.

Just be bold.

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Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books, including an Oprah pick. She speaks to corporations and organizations on courageous and creative leadership strategies taken from her interviews with the best-known leaders of our times.

For the most part, I think we fear our own power because acknowledging it requires us to take action. Taking action requires energy, stamina and presents us with the possibility of failing. It’s much easier to blend in with everybody else, all the fearful people who don’t venture into their zones of discomfort.

I look back on the great cynics I have known in my life, and I have to admit they provided a great deal of entertainment for me with their smart-aleck remarks as we watched one of our peers dare to chase some cockamamie dream that none of us thought could possibly work. Years later, the cynics had done nothing new with their lives. But, look at what the visionaries did:

There was the night city editor who quit to open a restaurant. It wound up being Ryan’s — an extremely successful chain and franchise. At the height of his success, the late Eddie Ervin owned 25 of the restaurants himself.

There was the television assignment editor who left to go to medical school and now is a great doctor with a huge practice.

There was the very lame reporter who left for law school and became quite well-known for civil rights work.

And when those dreams worked, we’d make some snide remark about it — and you know that came entirely from jealousy.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books, including an Oprah pick. She speaks to corporations and organizations on courageous and creative leadership strategies taken from her interviews with the best-known leaders of our times.

When I got my first full-time job as a journalist, I sat catty-corner from a woman who seemed eons older than I was. She was thirty at the time – think of it, thirty! And, I looked up to her because she was savvy, quick-witted and unbelievably sarcastic about the ways of the world. She always had some sort of smart-mouthed take on whatever the subject of the day.

Like an idiot, I consulted her the day before I was to interview Abigail Van Buren (the original Dear Abby) on the telephone. I asked my co-worker to help me come up with some questions Abby had never been asked before.

“Why not ask her how many suicides have happed because of her advice? And, ask about the number of divorces, too.”

That was life in the newsroom. There was always a nasty remark about everything. We knew that when someone gave us a tip, there was always a secret agenda. That people who held themselves up as the most prominent or upright citizens would too often wound up being convicted of fraud or theft or sexual assault on a child. That the world was filled with lies and liars. That there was always a humorous, negative take on everything, because good news really wasn’t news, and we didn’t run into all that many “good” people anyhow.

We’d go to events and never clap for the speakers. We’d be irreverent, and sometimes, disrespectful to people in positions of authority. We always assumed dark, not light. The worst, not the best.

I tell you all of this so you understand that I had to leap from the negative plane where so many of us linger, and venture into the realm of light and possibility, where our true success awaits. If you want positive things in your life, you have to make that leap as well. It is especially important to make that leap if you are experiencing difficulties and need to redefine what is next for you. I’ll explore that over the next week.

But, as you begin to change your world, change yourself. Realize that there isn’t always a negative agenda or a negative outcome. As difficult as things are these days, we’ve still got it pretty good.

I often think of a story told to me by Kathryn Sullivan, the first American woman to walk in space. Her mission was to deploy the Hubble Telescope, and it entailed complicated, intricate steps that all had to be perfectly executed.

“This was not the time to be staring out the window. We had the professional futures of other folks and a lot of federal money placed in trust in our hands.”

While she was doing her work outside the space shuttle, Commander Bob Crippen called out to the astronauts and had them take a second to look away from their tasks “…so we would know this was not a (training) repetition in the safety tank. It was the real deal. There was a planet over our shoulders. He made us pause to absorb  the reality, and I’m so glad he did. We could well have gone back in the airlock and said, ‘Was that the (training) tank or was that for real?’”

When we immerse ourselves in so much intensity, it is so easy to lose perspective. The reward is not only achieving our goals, but the joy that comes from trying to attain them. Which memory means most to you – getting your college diploma, or remembering the things that happened on your way to earning it? Your wedding might have been a crown jewel moment in your life, but wasn’t it fun to go through all the giddiness of meeting and falling in love?

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Remember that as you go on your way. Some of your experiences will be quite trying, but they really provide you with a defining moment to live all out and be who you are. Enjoy that. The reward is in doing something different, pushing yourself, feeling the support from your friends and family as you dare to be bold.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books, including an Oprah pick. She speaks to corporations and organizations on courageous and creative leadership strategies taken from her interviews with the best-known leaders of our times.

The bailout vote blew me away today. Unbelievable. We aren’t just watching history — we’re making it. Individually, the decisions we make will affect our futures and shape the economy for others around us. I am as shocked as you are.

What should you do? Pay attention to the news. Digest it. Talk to people. Figure out what you are going to do.

Then, go to work. The only thing that will get America through this kind of crisis is that old American work ethic that our parents and grandparents had. If we step back and look at the world we have created for ourselves, we have to admit we’ve turned into a bunch of spoiled softies. What got us in this mess? People spent more than they could afford, and the fat cats were only too happy to exploit that excess.

I have talked to so many people in the last week who are so beaten down by all of this bad news and so sure that they will suffer the consequences of our economy. My advice to them — and you — is that you do two things:

1. Stay informed of the news so you can make the proper financial decisions.

2. Compartmentalize the negativity and confidently accelerate your own performance so you are one of the winners who succeeds in this environment.

Remember, America is still open for business. Most people are feeling fear and negativity and defeat. This is a moment when you can charge forward with confidence, positive energy and a commitment to win. All you have to do is remember that the world has not ended.

Several years ago, I weighed my options. Stay in Denver at a job I hated and continue working for an absolute jerk, or move back to Florida for a better job and more money, but work as an editor for a less prestigious newspaper. I was ready to bolt, then froze.

What was I doing? I had a union-protected job where I couldn’t be fired. Five weeks of vacation, good money, great benefits and I got to live in Colorado, a state I loved that was filled with the best friends I’d ever had. I knew what I had where I was. I didn’t know what I would be trading for in Florida. What if my new boss was an even bigger jerk? What if I was even more miserable?

I weighed the options with my friend Jill Gould, who was and is one of my mentors and sisters in life. Finally, she said two things that changed my world.The first thing was, “Don’t let security be your dangerous anchor.” She said it three times, emphasizing the point. The second thing she said was, “If you ain’t doin’ something, you’re doin’ nothing.” I can’t imagine two more profound pieces of wisdom to guide us through turbulent times as we make the decisions that will determine where we go next.

I quit the job, moved to Florida, stayed in the new job in a year-and-a-half and found my way to this new, exciting, oh-so-fun life as an author and speaker. None of this would be mine if I’d clung to that union protected job. Instead, I would have been stuck in an archaic job in a dying industry. A position that would have left me with no security whatsoever.

I see so many people clinging to what little security their jobs offer, not recognizing that the security is not real at all. Look at the behemoth companies collapsing in front of our eyes. There is no security in trusting institutions that have to make a profit first and take care of employees second. It’s good to have faith in the companies you have loyally supported and buoyed with your talents, but don’t have blind faith.

A friend called last night and lamented how much she deplores the work she is doing for a government agency that is so demanding of her time, energy and spirit that she knows she has neglected her husband and herself. And, for what? The security of a paycheck. I remember when she and I were starting our own businesses at the same time. I worked so hard to run fast enough to make mine take off. She seemed stuck to the floor. Finally, she called to tell me she’d taken the job she is now so miserable in. I remember telling her that self-employment was a lot like a tightrope walk in the circus.

“Those tightrope walkers never look down because, if they do, they fall,” I said.

“My problem was, I couldn’t look up,” she said.

It was the most concise description of the difference between success and failure. To succeed, you have to have faith in yourself so you can move forward with absolute certainty that you are on the right path.

Don’t let security be your dangerous anchor.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizatons about courage and creative leadership strategies.

I have gone six delicious weeks without getting on an airplane. What good fortune that all of my speaking events have been in Florida this summer, giving me time to recover from the last frenzy and prepare for the next. I will spend most of the next eight weeks on the road, which means e-mail will pile up, voice mail will fill up and I will wear down. The good news is, I love my work.

The reason I even have this career is because my old friend Kerri Smith suggested I become a professional speaker way back when I was a starving author. She said, “You ought to be a professional speaker. They make a lot of money.” It never even occurred to me that you could make a career out of speaking and that companies and organizations would actually PAY for something like that, but I checked it out and, WOW. She was oh-so-right. As I waited for that book to finally get published, I joined Toastmasters. There are thousands of Toastmasters clubs where you can polish your speaking skills, and the group gave me a chance to give a speech every week. Eventually, I started going to meetings of the National Speaker’s Association, which teaches you how to turn speaking into a business.

I used that time that I struggled to get my first book published to get ready for the biggest reward of all: this career as a public speaker. I go out on the road, meet great people, talk onstage and get so much love from my audiences. Then, I come home to Clearwater — the best place on earth. I can’t believe I get to live this life. I say that every single day.

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And even though I am on the eve of an extremely chaotic and exhausting fall travel season, I know how lucky I am.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courageous and creative leadership strategies.

Several years ago, I met a man who would change my life. He hired me to be his writing coach and paid me a lot as we argued endlessly about the book he wanted to write. It was such a brother/sister tug-of-war, and it meant a lot to me. Our professional relationship stretched over four years as he continued to write and rewrite and rewrite the book that he couldn’t seem to let go of. Finally, I told him that he had to publish his book or I would do it for him.

After we concluded our working relationship, we maintained a close friendship. Throughout the years, I have watched him slowly destroy himself with alcohol. He’d be the first one to tell you that he’s been in rehab four times. I’ve known it would only be a matter of time before the beast took over completely and killed him.

Saturday night, he was rushed to the hospital after he was found at the bottom of his stairs in a pool of blood. Right now, he is in a hospital with a brain bleed so severe that it has pushed one half of his brain to the other side. His kidneys stopped functioning. His lung collapsed. And, he is paralyzed. We don’t know if he will live through this. If he does, we don’t know what will emerge. It will likely be a very, very sad ending to the life of a maverick businessman who made millions before retiring young.

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He is a man of many demons. His father beat the hell out of him repeatedly, before finally killing himself. My friend has millions in the bank, but he has always been the saddest, loneliest man I have ever known. People would use him, and he’d let them take his money from him. He just wanted to be loved and appreciated. They saw that and conned him out of millions.

download all roads lead home divx A few years ago, he and I went to a conference, then stayed over to work on his book for another day. The maid came into the room and my client gave her $20 and told her he wouldn’t be needing any maid service.

She smiled broadly and said, “Thank you so much! I take all of these tips and give them to my church.” I saw emotions in her eyes that I have never seen in his. Peace. Certainty. Fulfillment.

I never forgot that. On paper, that housekeeper had nothing. But, she really had everything.

She had everything and he had nothing. And now he is struggling to live and it makes me so sad because he never knew the joy that poor women had in her heart.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courageous and creative leadership strategies.watch kiss of the vampire aka immortally yours in divx