Motivational Leadership Speaker, Bestselling Oprah Author

Archive for the ‘Fawn’ Category

This is going to be quite a month, and a real endurance test. I am off on a marathon speaking run that will give me only two breaks at home. It culminates with a two-week run to Portland, Or., Chicago, Miami, Bentonville, Ar. and San Antonio. I will come home and have less than 24 hours to recover before doing the 3-day, 60-mile walk for breast cancer.

I’m not complaining. There was a time when I griped about the rigors of the road travel I had to do and, guess what? Business dried up. I have learned that the magic (and my income) is out there on the road, so I have this mantra that I embrace wholeheartedly: I LOVE TO TRAVEL. Bring it on. Book me some more. 

Seriously, I can’t believe I get paid to have this much fun. I go out there, I stand onstage and feel beloved, I meet all kinds of great people, then I get to come home and live in Clearwater, Fl. This is a good life.

Anyhow, the point of this blog is that I will do my best to post while I am out there. But, if I miss a few days, don’t kill me. It’ll slow down after convention season ends.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books, including an Oprah pick. She speaks to corporations and organizations on courageous and creative leadership strategies taken from her interviews with the best-known leaders of our times.

Back when I was a reporter, my friend Kathy used to bash the media and it would really tick me off. She talked about media bias. And a lack of depth. And agendas. She complained that political coverage was always about the horse race and never about the issues. I’d roll my eyes.

I always hated media bashers. I thought they were simplistic and quick to blame. As Kathy kept pounding away at coverage, I told her to cancel her subscription to the newspaper if she didn’t like things and thought to myself, “She just doesn’t get it.”

Well, now I get it. I wrote my last news story for U.S. News and World Report five years ago, and I have detoxed and cleansed. I realize that it was me who just didn’t get it. This week has been especially ridiculous.

The media scared the hell out of us with the economic crisis. It went something like this:

“$700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse. $700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse. $700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse. $700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse. $700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse. $700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse. $700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse. $700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse. $700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse.”

So, the bailout failed.

We kept hearing the same chorus of “$700 billion. Wall Street. Collapse.” Scared everybody. The world is ending.

But, relief! A subject change. Thank goodness for a bright, new day. But…

“Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin.”

These are serious times and we are being fed redundancy and pap. Let’s talk about which politician is scoring points in the debate instead of the debate! And I am sick to death of hearing Palin’s name. Whether she scores in the debate tonight — or not — I need a time-out from her and all that superficial nothingness I am getting. It does occur to me — a lot — that this is a turning point in our history that will shape the way we live for the rest of our lives. And what do we get from the media?

I wonder: Whatever happened to content?

And then I think about Kathy and I wonder if it ever really existed.

I can mark each era of my life in dog years. The Honey years. The Honey/Buster years. The Buster/Vinny years. The Vinny/Reggie years.

Vinny has been at my side through four books, two houses, a coupla relationships, a career change, a lightning strike and a lot of really good times.

He’s been there. Right with his mama.

Yesterday was a good day. Playful. Normal. Happy. Today, we woke up and I filled his bowl with Moist & Meaty, the food I’ve been spoiling him with since he was diagnosed with lung cancer and no longer had to worry about his waistline. He has always, always loved Moist & Meaty. Just not today. I coaxed him to his bowl, but he was not interested.I sat on the floor and put some in my hand and held it out to him, and he took a nibble — for my sake.

Then, he gave me the look.

He gave me the look and then it was my job to keep my end of my bargain with him. I would give him a good death because he’d given me so much good life. I called the vet and asked him to come out to the house after the clinic closed. Vinny would be in his home and he would not be afraid.

All day, I watched his labored breathing and knew this was really the day he had to go. I dropped my Golden off at my friend’s house so I could have my last day with Vinny and so Reggie wouldn’t continue to try to steal the attention away from his sick brother. And I gave Vinny a bunch of toys and got him to eat a little beef jerky and I cried. All day, on and off, because a world without this dog doesn’t seem possible to me. I have loved him so much for so long, and now I don’t know where I will put that love. Or get the love he gave to me. I have no idea how I will fill the void in my heart.

But I said goodbye to him knowing he had been the sweetest gift God ever sent me. He was just for me. My special boy, who made me laugh every single day.

Now I embark on the Reggie years, sad because Reg is my old man — almost thirteen, and sad because I know he won’t t live forever either — no matter how much I love him.

With his Billy Idol Mohawk. I re-colored it brown a week later.

Thank you, Vinny G-r-r-r-r-mer. For every last little thing.

I am having the best time.

I’m going to a party this evening for my friend who is being cared for by hospice as emphysema closes in on her. She is one of the most colorful, alive, brilliant women I have ever known, and I know she won’t be with us much longer.

Last Monday, I mentioned that my canine soulmate, Vinny, was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and is not expected to make it a month.

There have been a lot of tears lately, but I’m in a euphoric moment because nobody is going to a meeting with the Grim Reaper without a celebration. I have always wondered why people wait until their loved ones go before telling the stories they would tell at a wake. Forget the wake. Share the moment in life. That’s why I am going to party with my dying friend and a handful of other wild women.

And ‘tho my sweet Vinny is starting to show signs of his illness, they are greatly mitigated because he is being fed so much people food, getting huge bones and a brand new baby every single day. He gets to sleep on my pillow in my bed and I spoon him at night. I know he has never been happier, and so that makes me happy. We are going to have one hell of a goodbye month. He is alive. He is not dead.

You might wonder why we didn’t do these things all along. Well, my friend knew I thought she was the coolest 73-year-old I’d ever met. I certainly told her that and laughed endlessly with her. And, Vinny and I never wasted a moment. I could not have given him a baby every day and fed him steak, chicken, watermelon, jerky, etc. The house would have been overrun by dog babies and he would have weighed twice what he was supposed to weigh. But, that dog knew how much he was loved.

But, as we say goodbye to our loved ones, we can either shut down or lighten up. We can lament what we are losing or relish in what we have — and had. My sadness is still there, but there is also real joy. It’s in these moments of immense grief that I find such intense gratitude. I have been blessed, and it is a moment to relish in these blessings.

Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies.