Motivational Leadership Speaker, Bestselling Oprah Author

I have a friend who has been looking for work for awhile and will soon start her job at IKEA. She called to go over her success strategy and, out of pure self-interest, I asked when her discount would kick in. That brought up a whole bunch of other questions she said has for her first day. I am either slap-happy because I was up working until 4 a.m., or she really should abandon IKEA job and seek to replace Conan. Here’s what she wants to discuss with her manager: 

1. How many sick days do I get in my first month? If I use more, is that okay?
2. Can I take a cigarette break now? I require multiple cigarette breaks every hour. It is not my fault. If you have a problem, take it up with Big Tobacco.
3. When does the dental insurance kick in? I have a toothache. What kind of discount do I get on the Swedish meatballs in the cafeteria? Do employees get extra meatballs?
4. Sometimes, I will need to bring my cat to work with me.
5. What should I tell customers when they interrupt me while I am text messaging?
6. Which door is best when you’re trying to leave early?
7. Are the display beds available for employee naps?
8. When my probation officer comes to visit, can we use a conference room? Will he get extra Swedish meatballs in his order?
9. When is my first week of vacation?

 I think she’ll be a STAR!

Fawn Germer is the author of  four books, one of which was an Oprah favorite. Her fifth book, FINDING THE UP IN THE DOWNTURN will be released this spring. She is one of the nation’s most popular leadership keynote speakers.