Archive for July, 2008
It all comes down to you…
July 10th, 2008
If you aren’t doing what you really want to be doing, it’s because you really don’t want to do it.
Okay, stop. I know that about half of you out there are about to slide into the big snooze because you’ve tired of over-simplistic generalizations that put the responsibility for your success, mediocrity or failure squarely in your own lap.
There is so much in life that you can’t control, right? And, maybe there is a reason that you do not fall into my over-simplistic generalization. Maybe there is something else to blame. There are a few valid excuses out there, aren’t there?
Yes. But, not many. sciatica treatment human growth hormone
I am my greatest obstacle, and you are yours.
But, we are also our greatest assets.
Once we commit to accomplishing something, we can do it. But, it takes vision and, perhaps more than anything, commitment. The commitment gets you started and keeps you moving once the obstacles pop up.
The world is filled with success stories from visionaries who saw possibility and lived it. We hear these stories all the time, of people who started poor and wound up rich, people who couldn’t speak a word of English but wound up running major corporations…
Sometimes those examples seem so remote, like fodder for Reader’s Digest or USA Today or Forbes, but those things always happen to other people. People who seem to have some sort of special success gene that must have been implanted by aliens.
But, you know there is no secret success gene.
You want something, you can manifest it.
You dream something, you can live it.
You just have to see it, commit to it, and work like hell to make it real.
Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies.
Persevere — regardless.
July 9th, 2008
One of my closest friends is a former welfare mother who drove a cab to put herself through law school while caring for her two small children as a single parent. She eventually became a well-known judge, then shifted careers to pursue her dream of writing. She just finished writing one of the best novels I’ve ever read.
Another of my best friends was offended when, as a secretary, a client came in and told her she had an “idiot’s job.” That indignity inspired her to go to medical school and eventually become one of the nation’s first forensic pathologists. She was such a trailblazer that she soon was elected coroner in a major metropolitan area, then decided she wanted to next hit the road and travel. She used her skills and passions as she unearthed the mass graves left behind in Bosnia. Not much of an idiot.
All of us have our dreams. Some people talk themselves into them, some talk themselves out of them. But, the dreams are there.
Since you only get one shot at living, I suggest you live large. Don’t hunker down in that safe zone of settling for the known when you can find true greatness by being a little bold and having a little fun. foals premarin
There are plenty of excuses for inaction, but the most common one is fear. No one wants to fail, so most people won’t even try. We lack the confidence to charge into change and enjoy the ride for all of its mystery and potential. So, we keep on keeping on, as boring or unchallenging as the circumstances are.
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And, that’s okay. I guess.
It is okay if you are truly happy with your decisions and are living a life without regrets. But, if there is even a twinge of regret nagging you for your abandoned dreams, stop making excuses and start seeking results.
Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies.
Make up your mind
July 8th, 2008
Whether you are going on a diet, training for a marathon, heading back for your MBA or changing jobs, the most wrenching part of a challenge is making the decision to really do it. I don’t mean the “It’s Monday so I am going to go on a diet” decision, but rather, the “I am going on the diet” decision.
You can decide to do something, but if you or others are able to easily dissuade you from carrying through to your goal, you haven’t made the decision to do it. You have instead made the decision to try to do it, and that is something entirely different.
The decision to “try” is the decision that greatly minimizes your chances of success. You begin by giving yourself an out. You are saying, right up front, that you might not be successful. That doesn’t mean you will fail. I just means that your success will likely come by happenstance, not pure determination.
A decision to “try” is always better than doing nothing, but make that kind of decision consciously. Don’t let it serve as an invisible wedge between you and a goal that could be achieved if only you’d thought it through and made the proper commitment.
The way to achieve seemingly impossible challenges is to only focus on the possibility they present. You may face obstacle after obstacle, but those are just part of the challenge. Embrace possibility. Believe in it. Truly commit to making it happen, and possibility has a way of becoming reality. lisinopril half life drug
Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies. lisinopril titration protocol
Excuses don't count. Results do.
July 7th, 2008
I am so over people making excuses of why they can’t do something. Let’s look at some of the excuses people use, and see how ridiculous they really are.
Excuse: You’re too old.
Bull.
Grandma Moses didn’t start painting American folk art until her late 70s. S. I. Hayakawa didn’t get elected to the U.S. Senate until he was 70. When Golda Meir was elected prime minister of Israel, she was 71. George Burns didn’t win an Academy Award until he was 80. George Brunstad was 70 when he swam the English Channel. Mario Curnis climbed the 29,035-foot summit of Mount Everest when he was 66. Cardinal Angelo Roncalli became Pope John XXIII when he was 76 and called Vatican II. George Selbach scored a 110-yard hole-in-one at age 96.
Excuse: You lack the education to do something. for prices avodart
Right.
Among those who never earned college diplomas: Bill Gates, Maya Angelou, Larry Ellison, Jane Goodall, Michael Dell, Quentin Tarantino, David Geffen, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Thomas Edison, Woody Allen, Carl Bernstein, Eleanor Roosevelt, Ray Bradbury, Estee Lauder, Richard Branson, Agatha Christie, James Cameron, Grover Cleveland, Walter Cronkite, Muriel Siebert, Harry Truman, Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. In addition, Peter Jennings and John D. Rockefeller never got their high school diplomas.
Excuse: You come from the wrong side of the tracks. You were raised poor.
So were Oprah Winfrey, Benjamin Franklin, Malcolm X, Jackie Joyner-Kersey, George Orwell, Charles Dickens, Elvis Presley, Roseanne Barr, Gloria Steinem, Shania Twain, Truman Capote and millions of other successful people.
Excuse: You’re disabled.
Tom Cruise (dyslexia), Patty Duke (bipolar), Stephen Hawking (Lou Gehrig’s disease), Magic Johnson (HIV), Marlee Matlin (deaf), Itzhak Perlman (paralyzed from polio), Franklin Roosevelt (paralyzed from polio),
Excuse: You’re too fat.
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What about Winston Churchill, Marlon Brando, Elvis, Aretha Franklin, Oliver Hardy, B.B. King, Luciano Pavarotti, Orson Wells and Presidents Teddy Roosevelt, William Howard Taft and Ulysses S. Grant? Don’t forget Santa Claus.
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We use excuses to talk ourselves out of trying for promotions we think we can’t get. We use them to stay in jobs and relationships and circumstances that we don’t even like. We use them to put off furthering our education, starting fitness programs, moving, losing weight, building relationships and doing those things that put us in our discomfort zones. Ecuses don’t count. Results do.
Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies. rocaltrol
Control what you can control
July 6th, 2008
Sometimes we do hit the wall of our own limits, and some excuses do count. I want to sell ten million copies of this book, but I can’t make ten million people buy it. All I can do is write the best book I can, and work like heck to promote it. I may have wanted to win a Pulitzer Prize when I was a reporter, but all I could control was that I would do Pulitzer-quality work. I got four nominations, but never the prize.
If you want to act, you can’t assure yourself that you will win an Academy Award. All you can do study, practice, and prepare yourself to perform at an Oscar-quality level. If you want to be CEO of General Motors, you can only control that you have the knowledge, finesse and ability of someone who would ascend to that position.
You might want to do an Ironman Triathlon, but your knees won’t let you run at all. Some excuses count. But again, not many.
For almost every challenge we encounter, there are a multitude of excuses that give us a pass to walk away. Maybe they make us feel better, but excuses are just cop-outs for choosing that which appears easy of something that poses difficulty. Deep inside, we know that. But we use them anyhow.
Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies. download her alibi free
Making the decision to go for it.
July 5th, 2008
If you are going to change your life, really look at what you are up against and split the challenges into stages that you can knock off one or two at a time. I know. How can you dream huge dreams while still grounding yourself with your own human limits? Sounds like quite a contradiction, but it’s not. What I am suggesting is that you dream huge dreams, but pace yourself.
Make the decision – really make the decision, and make those goals become reality. Once you have some momentum, add to your list. Do more. And more. The more you do, the more you will be able to do at one time.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you have such superhuman stamina, willpower and determination that you can accomplish everything, all at once. But, don’t use that reality to talk you out of striving for goals that seem out of reach. Again, it’s pacing. Set a course for you that will push you and make you stretch, but don’t set one that will kill you.
Put on your shoes, take two steps and change your life.
July 4th, 2008
A few years ago, I interviewed Kathrine Switzer, the first woman to officially run the Boston Marathon. Her story became legend because she registered with her initials and race officials did not know a woman was on the course until they saw her. One race official was so determined to get her out of the race that he lunged at her and tried to pull her out. Switzer’s burly then-boyfriend pushed the guy away and she kept running. The whole thing was photographed by the media and the photos came to symbolize the obstacles women face when going where they aren’t wanted.
I asked her what she tells people to do to break the inertia that keeps them from starting their fitness programs.
“Put on your shoes,” she said.
It’s so simple.
You just take the first step.
Now, as someone who has learned over the years how much better life is when the day begins with a workout, I have another suggestion to help you stick to something once you start it. Let’s stay with the fitness analogy.
1. Put on your shoes.
2. Walk out to the street.
On the mornings when I just don’t feel like working out, I put on my shoes and walk out to the curb in front of my house. I can decide not to walk or go cycling, but I must get to the curb – prepared to act – before I can make that call. That way, I am not giving power to excuses. If I don’t work out, I have to own it. It is a decision. buy ventolin rogue dvdrip download
The beauty of this is, if I am standing out there all ready to go, I’m going to go. I might just say, “I’ll only go for twenty minutes,” but after twenty minutes, I am in motion and I don’t want to stop.
This is exactly what we have to do when we continue on difficult paths, particularly with career or academic challenges. Just get dressed, get started, get in position, figure out where you are headed and start working.
Just start already!
July 3rd, 2008
One of the most consistent sources of inertia in our lives is our fear of tackling daunting projects. We don’t take time to realize that there are few tasks that can’t be broken down into manageable parts. We see all of the things that need fixing in our lives and we don’t fix any of them because we think we must fix them all – and that prospect is frightening, intimidating and exhausting. So, we just wait and wait, and nothing happens.
I recently consulted with a man who has toiling in a job that pays him well every Friday, but does nothing for his psyche. He is miserable, and has been for a decade. He wants out, but thinks he isn’t mobile because he is middle aged. He is so stuck, and it is all his choice. He just doesn’t see that he has colluded with the negative forces that have made him miserable.
“I can’t get anything that will pay me better than this,” he said.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“I’m a middle aged white man and…”
“How do you know you can’t get anything better?”
“There are people more qualified and…”
“How do you know you can’t get anything better if you haven’t done the first thing to try?”
Finally, he admitted what was giving him so much trouble: “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Do your resume,” I said.
Oh, that look. It is the same look I get every time I tell someone to do their resume. It is the look of dread and fear and doubt. You’d think it was absolute torture to do it. And, why? Seriously, why is it such a bad thing. They even have software programs to make it easy.
The lack of an updated resume is probably the most universal reason people are stuck in unhappy and unchallenging career situations. Doing that resume is the fundamental and essential first step that leads to all other opportunities, but thinking about doing it puts such a bad taste in our mouths.
Well, how long does it take?
Really, if you just spend one night doing your resume and give it three good hours of concentration, you’ll be done and good to go. It isn’t fun, but it certainly doesn’t justify the near total paralysis that it provokes in so many people who need to change their lives. So figure out what kind of job you are targeting and give your resume three hours. Then write a good cover letter. Then mail the stuff out.
The only thing stopping you from changing your life is your unwillingness to do whatever it takes to get moving. So, quit whining and start moving.
Connect — carefully. Friendship and betrayal in the workplace.
July 2nd, 2008
I once asked my now ex-husband if he wanted to go out for dinner with the girls. “No thanks,” he said. “You all get together and talk about things like … growth.”
Well, yeah. That’s the beauty of being a woman. We connect. We get to know each other deeply and we support each other in our personal and professional networks. Is there anything more validating than glancing at a friend and seeing that she has picked up on your sudden feeling of frustration or anger doubt – without you having to even say a word? cytoxan abana realty
I would never have had the courage to conquer my obstacles without my friends cheering and pushing me from the sidelines. But, I have to admit I have trusted a few women who never deserved that trust. This is a stumbling block for many, many women in professional environments.
Sometimes our willingness to so freely connect makes us vulnerable. If I stand in front of an audience and ask, “How many of you have been stabbed in the back by another woman?” almost every hand will go up. I usually follow-up by asking, “How many of you confronted the woman?” Only a few hands will rise. seroquel
That is the downside to our connections. Some of us trust too easily and reveal too much, which can put us in extremely vulnerable positions – especially if we award our trust in a competitive work environment. We expect more from women because we feel like we give more. When we are hurt by another woman, we are often too hurt or afraid to look her in the eye and ask for an explanation or say that we didn’t like it.
It seems easier to grouse about it with other co-workers than it does to go directly to the source of the conflict and say, “Why did you do that?” But, when we say nothing, we condone the betrayal. Confrontation is tricky business and should be handled as diplomatically as possible. The person must know you are watching so it doesn’t happen again. You don’t want to be messed with. You aren’t a victim.
Network and connect freely, but be careful who you count as your friend. The friends you have are priceless. Just know who they really are.
Unstick yourself. Your rut is your prison.
July 2nd, 2008
The last day at my job in Denver was especially memorable because one of my colleagues confided, “You are so lucky to be getting out of this place. I’ve been so miserable for the last ten years here that I can’t stand to come in. I feel sick every time I walk in the door.”
“You’ve got to get out of here,” I urged.
But she never did. More than ten years later, she is still working at the same job for the same abusive boss — and it is tragic. Another decade and she can retire with what has to be the worst pension in employment history. What a sad way to waste a life.
She lacks the confidence to take charge of her destiny and instead sacrifices all the possibility her life holds in hopes that she can hang in there long enough to get a sheet cake and pension check. Plenty of people live like that.
Extended misery is a choice from which you are always free to liberate yourself. Just cure yourself of your inaction.
Most of us fear change, but change is the one thing that leads to greater opportunity and success. Make the decision over what you want, then figure out the steps you need to take. Check them off, one at a time, and don’t psyche yourself out of the unpleasant tasks because, if you just buck up, they don’t take much time. Think of how often you have put off doing your resume because it is such a pain. Well, how long does it really take? A couple of hours? A day? Just do it.
Whether it is a resume or any other first step, just commit to the idea, then carry through one step at a time. Once you walk a little, you’ll be ready to run. But, you won’t go anywhere if you won’t put on your shoes.
shelter online Fawn Germer is the best-selling author of four books and speaks to corporations and organizations about courages and creative leadership strategies.
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